Why bother with counselling, especially a counselling approach designed with men in mind?

The answer is quite simple: you will be more balanced, and better relationships come with more balance.

I will not say you will be happier; who knows what that means anyway! Nor will I say that you will not have ups and downs. I am not even going to say that you will have control over your life; too many things around us are outside of our control. You can have a greater sense of balance, where you begin to control your emotional responses to what is happening around you.

What counselling offers is an opportunity to get our body and mind better. To get to know our body and mind better, we must learn to listen and understand what it is trying to tell us. Instead of constantly fighting with our minds, we should try to work with them. By learning how to be comfortable with ourselves, we can avoid getting stuck in a cycle of hurt, anxiety, and depression. We must become more receptive and aware of our everyday lives to achieve this.

Real men are willing to try counselling.

Men are often taught to push their emotions to one side; even in this age of so-called openness and mental health awareness, they close themselves off. For many men, even acknowledging that they are emotional can be emasculating. But is it masculine not to experience the full range of emotions? To live a life like a robot, only going through the motions, running away from anything a little scary for us? Real men are willing to take risks and get to know themselves and others.

What is really going on inside? Am I brave enough to ask: ‘How am I doing?’. What are some of the emotions I am experiencing? Do I even know what the emotions are? I might recognise the feelings, but can I describe them? Can I put it into words? What’s driving these emotions? What has led to these emotions? How do I communicate this to other people? Do I want to talk to others about these emotions? If so, or if not, why?

Counselling is not just about sharing; it is about discovering what is happening and understanding why your emotions are over/under-reacting.

4 Stages to Changing Your Life

We follow a four-stage process:

Stage 1: You’re doing this stage already: have a read of the website. The website tells you what I can and do not offer in general terms.

Stage 2: If you like what you have read and think I can help, start to clarify what you would want from counselling. What are your motivations for or intentions from coming into a counselling relationship with me? Are you coming voluntarily? If someone is forcing you, counselling will not work; you must do it for yourself: it must be your option, your decision. Also, what are your hopes and fears? What do you need help with?

The initial session is about helping you clarify some of these points, but it is best to think beforehand.

Stage 3: What can I offer you: how can I uniquely help you? The website gives details of general points. We will discuss how I can help you and your specific challenges in the initial session. While I will talk about the nuts and bolts of counselling, my real focus is on how I can help you in your situation. I look for clients who are ready and willing to engage, commit, and invest their time, emotional capital, and money (I cannot live off just bread and wine) to overcome their struggles; reluctant clients, as opposed to those who are unsure where to start, will struggle with the counselling process.

Stage 4: Come and see what we can do together. Let’s have a few sessions where you can get to know me and how I work, and I will walk with you. The sessions will be challenging, but you wouldn’t go to a personal trainer at the gym who points to the equipment and says do want you want: you want to be challenged and guided to tune into your emotions, deepen your understanding and begin to live a full, balanced life.

Any other reasons to try counselling

Why do this? Because your wife or girlfriend will be so grateful that you can talk about what is happening. Your future children will love the idea that you are open to them, know about your emotions, respond to them, communicate with them, treat them (especially your future sons) and understand what is happening to them, your children. Your colleagues at work know that you can listen and understand, which means you will be able to identify a better course of action.

More importantly, you won’t spend your life worrying about what has happened or might happen; instead, you will focus on what is happening.

Now get in touch; if not now, when?