It is wrong to assume that one approach to counselling will fit each client. I have had male clients for whom a feminine approach to counselling helps them more and female clients for whom a masculine model works better. The demand on the counsellor is to be trained in breadth and depth. 

Competent counsellors should be trained in a broad range of psychological theories. To my mind, trying and shoe-horn a client into a specific counselling approach is not good enough. We are taught from an early stage that people respond to different cues; some are visual, others auditory and yet more kinaesthetic, so why do we assume one size fits all regarding counselling approaches? Furthermore, why do we think that psychology, or worse still, basic counselling skills course knowledge alone, will help uncover the answers?

Counselling is political

A good counsellor must also know how history (including the history of religion), mythology/symbolism, philosophy, politics, and sociology affect our clients. Counselling has made mistakes in the past, assuming that the only concern is what goes on in the counselling room; that is an error. The male client who has tried to fix his problems by listening and reading all that he can online knows how to ‘read’ the unaware counsellor – he will try to stay a few steps ahead – a broader depth of knowledge allows the counsellor to throw curve balls, to make him think differently

A counsellor cannot afford to be ignorant of the forces of society which have moulded their client. Counselling is a political act (with a small ‘p’); our clients’ stories do not stop with the family; they are part of a broader community with its own cultures and expectations (e.g., man-rules). 

If counsellors are unaware of how wider society impacts their clients and adapt their approach, how can we genuinely expect to understand who the client in front of us is? We should not separate personal analysis and social analysis because together, they make us the human we are. It may be more beneficial for counsellors to read Dostoevsky or Kafka than Freud and Rogers to gain a true insight into what makes us tick!

If you’re thinking about counselling, or you’re ready to join me on your own counselling journey, put the man-rules to one side, and give me a call to book an appointment or to ask any questions.