To answer why fun is essential in counselling, it is crucial to trace the history of the word ‘fun’. Like all words, how the word ‘fun’ is used has changed over the years, but fun is interesting because two contrasting roots lead to two very different uses of the word. The first root comes from the Middle English word fon (first recorded in 1440), referring to the act of toying with someone; later, the word fun emerges to describe how criminals cheat or hoax their marks. Just think for a moment about how we still use fun in this way today when we make fun of other people or when we ‘get one over’ on someone else (see this post for more on this)

If we follow the evolution of fun through history, we see that, gradually, the definition of fun changes from a specific focus on having fun at the expense of others to a more generalised acceptance that different activities and events can be amusing or pleasurable. But we do not have to go too far to see that the dark side of fun is still with us; think about how we make fun of other people, or how good it is to gossip, or how much fun we have ‘getting our own back’.

What is rarely discussed is a suggestion by Charles Mackay, who, in 1877, agreed that one root of fun is indeed that of frivolous foolery and cheating, but he also suggested an alternative. Mackay’s alternative origin is the German word wonne, which describes delight and joy. This is an important distinction when we use fun interchangeably with joy and happiness; however, I agree with Mackay that the two sources of fun, fon and wonne are distinct and should be kept separate.

In my PhD thesis, I argued that the two sources reflect two distinct approaches to life: Having-Fun and Being-Fun. Having-Fun is extrinsic fun, rooted in fun through fon, grounded in the individual transient experiences of pleasure, stimulated by external factors, often guided by others. Just think about how we are continually bombarded with adverts telling us what is and is not fun. Fun has become an object that creates a need from a desire; we must have fun or suffer the alternative — boredom or unhappiness. And yet, ultimately, Having-Fun leaves us addicted to fun, looking for that next even bigger emotional hit. Eventually, we will feel barren, where all that exists in our mind is an unfulfilled emptiness.

The societal shift towards having fun, treating fun as an object to be consumed, and increasing our passivity and dependence, improves how we live our lives without mindful awareness. Fun becomes little more than a distraction for our increasingly controlled working lives.

The fun that we have in Having-Fun is forced, something that we must chase after; by contrast, the fun in Being-Fun arises from deep within us when we provide a fertile ground for happiness to emerge. Happiness viewed from this perspective is the realisation of freedom and authenticity.

Being-Fun is intrinsic fun, emerging from the satisfaction of a sincerely held desire. Being-Fun, rooted in joy (wonne), delights in action; a creative activity in which people develop professionally and personally through meaningful work that enables them to contribute to the common good. Adding the common good to this process reflects the importance of fostering and protecting inborn human talents, qualities, and potentialities that must be nurtured and even protected.

The connection between meaningful tasks and fun was made explicit in an article by Caroline Humestone in 1944 that proudly declared Housework can be fun. The article was of its time and place (USA) in its discussions of the ‘joys’ of domestic service. However, the central argument is sound and resonates with the Being-Fun approach to life and counselling. For Humestone, any meaningful activity that helps us develop personally and professionally is fun and significantly contributes to our mental health, mental fitness, genwell-beingbeing and, therefore, our happiness.

Humestone’s article probably would not be written in the same language today. Still, her central argument is that domestic service can be fun if that work is meaningful and they can develop personally and professionally. Extending Humestone’s argument, it seems to me that counselling becomes fun:

For many clients I see, the liberation felt by moving away from an object-driven life, as symbolised by Having-Fun, to embracing a life enriched by an openness to encountering themselves and others (Being-Fun) is where counselling truly becomes fun.